Since it’s Halloween and my peeps from the library keep on feeding me Tales of Grendel, I figured I’d add some new ones. This one happens to be my personal favorite.

Grendel sends this email to the masses…

Subject: Happy 20th!
Importance: High

Today I’m celebrating 20 years at the Library. Enjoy my cake in the staff room! Grendel

Then she sends out…

Subject: RE: Happy 20th!

Thank you for all the kind words of recognition. I’m glad people enjoyed the cake I brought in and my balloon I bought for myself. Laughter is the best therapy! Grendel the self important ass-hat.

Seriously, who does things like this? She might as well have thrown herself a surprise party. I can’t believe she brought not only a cake, but a damn balloon. A balloon!

What I want to know is A) Did she bring it in on a Thursday, when all full time staff was there and could partake? And B) Was it late enough in the afternoon when the night employees could have some? (Her 2 pet peeves).

More Tales tomorrow.

PS: If this kid doesn’t stop crying for no reason, I’m going to shoot myself in the head. That is all.

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the Duggars have their own TV show now. And apparently the oldest Duggar kid, Josh, has gotten married. To a girl he never kissed. Okay.

Anyway, watching the new weekly show, I have found out many new things about the Duggars. For instance, the girls don’t dress like Laura Ingalls anymore, which is good, even though the mom still has that iffy hair-do. Also, the kids have quite a sense of humor. Josh and his fiance go out on a date with chaperones, who happen to be Josh’s brother and sister. “It’s kind of like a double date, even though the other couple is my brother and sister. Well, we are from Arkansas.” Hilarious! And since they don’t date, but court- not showing interest in anyone unless they are going to marry- they are pretty obsessed about sex. Watch the show when they talk about it, you’ll see.

They also have a “scandalous” cousin, Amy. She’s actually pretty normal. I think she makes the whole show.

Oops, baby is fussin’. Gotta go.

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So last year we went to Ghetto Circus 2007, with the really bad hula hoop girl and in May we went to the Not Too Ghetto Circus 2008. Today we went to Ghetto Circus 2008. It was billed as a different circus than 2007, but it had some of the same acts.

The hula hoop girl was WAY better this year. No beatings for her after the show.

The big attraction was the human cannon ball. The human cannon ball was a rather rotund Spanish man in a dirty one piece suit. The surprising part of this act was not how well it was performed, but how firm and supple this chubby man’s buttocks looked in a one piece. I was jealous.

The absolute BEST part of this circus was that we paid $28.00 to sit on narrow wooden bleachers in a field to watch less than an hour and a half worth of show.

Yeah, we did that.

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that has a corn maze today.

Peanut is afraid of corn.

She likes scary movies, but she is afraid of corn.

Weird.

Very weird.

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So I was watching TV last night and I came across this show called, Whatever, Martha. Apparently Martha Stewart gave her daughter, Alexis, and her friend, Jennifer, access to some of her old TV episodes. The pair then proceed to criticize clips from the shows. It’s sort of like Mystery Science Theater 3000 for the Martha Stewart Living show. I was so fascinated, I could not look away.

Then I imagined what it would be like if my best friend and I spent a half hour making fun of video clips of my mother. Screaming at people through clenched jaws and swearing would make up a better part of the half hour, followed by us making fun of the way she snores on the couch. Come on, ET, you need to go to my mom’s house and video tape her so we can criticize it when I come to visit! It’ll be so much fun!

And speaking of the Martha Stewart Show, Peanut happened to catch her Halloween special. She would not let me change the channel. “What’s the lady doing, Mommy. Oooh, that’s scary.” I don’t know if the obsession is with Martha or Halloween. This is a child who reads the phone book and likes to wear mittens and winter boots in the summer. It just may be an obsession with Martha.

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