That is the question.

Student loans are killing us. Damn graduate school! Damn it to hell!

I’d like to earn some extra money to help out, but I can’t find a library job that isn’t 4 hours away. I guess I could work somewhere like Wal-Mart, but since I’m paying out my ass for the library degree, I’d like to use it.

On the other hand, I like staying home with Peanut. She’s becoming quite the conversationalist. She can actually string two words together and make a sentence.

She also repeats things. Today she said “Shit.” Yup, doing a great job at this stay at home mom thing.

Seriously, though, I enjoy my stay at home momdom. Who else would vacuum? Husband is absolutely no help in this issue. He told me to do whatever I wanted. Damn my supportive spouse! Damn him to hell!

I have no idea what to do.

I hate that.

–>

And by stinky, I mean stunk so bad we all got ill. Seriously. I’ll never forget the first time she came into the library, I walked in from lunch and said, “Eww, what smells like feet?” I didn’t know that a person could smell that bad. Now that I think about it, it didn’t smell just like feet, it was like a combination of unwashed va-jay-jay, cat piss and just ick. That’s the only way to describe it.

Stinky Lady’ stink didn’t disappear when she left the room, either. It permeated the entire library, (two floors, not a small building at all), for hours. I am not joking, it was the stank that wouldn’t end.

Now it would be understandable if Stinky Lady was homeless or something, but I don’t think that was the case. In fact, she drove a rather nice SUV. Apparently, she came into the library to burn DVDs or CDs or something. She would go into the small quiet study room and do her work. Woe to the poor employee who had to go into this confined space and assist her in any way. I think someone actually vomited at one point.

Anyway, the stank got so bad that we would practically use up whole cans of air freshener to fight the odor. Patrons would get up and leave as soon as she walked through the doors. We were at wits end. We didn’t have a smelly patron policy, so we couldn’t tell her to leave. I was seriously tempted to pay a surly teenager to say, “Yo, lady, go take a bath.” But no one would let me.

Finally, a smelly patron policy was created and the glorious day came when our assistant director took Smelly Lady outside and told her she could no longer come into the library if she continued to smell. Smelly Lady took it quite well. We found out later that she had been kicked out of other libraries and business establishments with Wi-Fi because of her raunch.

You’d think she’d get the hint and bathe.

–>

It’s taken me a few days to digest the MTV Video Music Awards, despite the fact I didn’t actually watch the entire show. Nonetheless, I have some thoughts:

- Who actually airs these videos? Seriously, MTV doesn’t show them, VH1 doesn’t show them (unless it’s like 7 in the morning and honestly, who’s up at that hour- besides me, my kid and my dog?) How can they vote on videos when no one ever sees them?

- I thought Sarah Silverman was holding back a bit. I felt like she wanted to be a lot funnier, but she was afraid to really offend anyone.

- Alicia Keys kicked ass.

- So did Kid Rock, literally. You can take the man out of the trailer…

- I felt really old watching this because I didn’t know who half the people were.

- What the hell was Jennifer Garner doing there? I mean, she seems really sweet and everything, but she’s like this close to being a soccer mom. She did give it the good old college try when she had to present with the obnoxious Jamie Foxx.

- How high do you think Justin Timberlake was? I bet he was extremely baked. Even so, that boy is the white Michael Jackson (and by white I mean the non-bleaching of the skin white and by Michael Jackson I mean the ’80’s Thriller Michael Jackson, not the freaky pedophile we see before us today).

- Rihanna’s song Shut Up and Drive is really dirty. I like it.

- Last but not least, Britney. I felt a little bad for her, so I think I might have to write an open letter to her.

Dear Brit,
First of all, I was never really a fan, but your music is kinda catchy. That being said, I have to say that even though you don’t have a 6 pack, I didn’t think you looked fat, you looked normal. Normal enough not to wear your frickin’ underwear on stage! You had 2 kids, sister! It’s gonna take a lot to get super sexy again. Give us a break, huh?

Secondly, I wasn’t surprised about the lip-syncing. That’s what you do. We all know that Christina had all the vocal talent on the MMC. I was sort of disappointed that you didn’t try to do it well. Shit, Ashlee Simpson did a better job on SNL, and the god damned wrong song was playing! Jesus, you couldn’t even try?

What I was really disappointed in was the dancing. Untalented singer, yes, but bitch used to be able to move! You looked unsure of yourself and uninterested in the whole performance. You’d think all the time you spend hanging out with strippers and drinking in clubs, you’d be able to wing it even if you didn’t know the whole choreography. I bet you got stoned with JT. Weed just doesn’t agree with some people.

I do have to commend you, dear Brit-Brit, for you dared to go on stage before millions of people and risked (and succeeded in) making a fool of yourself. That does take balls (which we know you don’t literally have because we’ve all seen enough roast beef shots to last an eternity).

I’d like to end this letter with a little advice. I think it’s time to find another career. No one says that you have to be a pop superstar. You’re still young enough to embark on another career. How about furthering your education? The DeVry Institute is really easy to get into. You could get yourself into a respectable administrative assistant career. And all that va-jay-jay flashing would easily get you a raise. Sure, it’s not as glamorous as pop superstar, but it’s a living.

Best Wishes,
J at the Hollow Possum

–>

Damn it went by fast! I had a birthday yesterday. I’m closing in on 30 and it’s a little depressing. My day was nice, though. Husband bought me an ice cream cake from Walmart. I’m totally addicted to Walmart ice cream cakes.

My in-laws visited last week and I managed to survive. I’m a horrible hostess.

Husband and I have decided to procreate again. I expect to have a bun in the oven soon.

That is all.

–>