The other day, Peanut had her choice of fruit snacks in the grocery store. Dora, Princesses, Scooby-doo. What did she choose, you ask? Here’s the picture:

Yup, fruit snacks in the shape of tractors. She is officially a hick. May the Lord help us all.

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that has a corn maze today.

Peanut is afraid of corn.

She likes scary movies, but she is afraid of corn.

Weird.

Very weird.

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and SO, SO, SO TIRED! Baby is great, 3 weeks old today. Little guy has a hollow leg, he’s ALWAYS eating. He started off at 7 lbs 9 oz and now he’s almost 9 pounds. He’s hungry now…

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Almost three years ago, my feet looked like this:

I was pregnant with Peanut. I figured my swollen feet were due to working and going to school and such. I ended up on bed rest for the last month of my pregnancy. It was lovely. I mistakenly though it was just a one time thing.

But, no. This morning, and for the past month or so, my feet look like this:

How’s that for yummy? Because of my swollen feet (and numb fingers and a variety of other things), I decided to schedule a c-section. For today. I am very excited except for one thing…

I’m hungry.

It’s 4 AM and I can’t sleep. Surgery is not scheduled until 10 AM and I can’t eat or drink anything. I am starving. I think I may die.

Seriously, though, I am SO excited for Orville to finally make it into the world. Wish me luck…

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Well not exactly. I had some trauma this weekend. Yes, it included the ingestion of feces, but no one died. The day started off normally. I was busy in the morning, and Peanut mentioned that she went potty, but since I was busy, I did not empty it right away. She also mentioned that she went pee-pee AND poopy. Keep this fact in mind.

My dog comes up to me and Lord, did he stink! He smelled like really horrible breath. I figured that it was just because I have been giving him garlic and yeast pills for his skin everyday. Little did I know…

So I go into the bathroom and I look in the potty. There’s a small trace of pee in there and a flushable wipe on the floor. Then it dawns on me. I run out of the bathroom screaming “NOOOOOOOOOO!” like some lame 80’s action movie. I couldn’t believe it. My dog ate my daughter’s shit. Yes he ate it.

I threw him outside until I could figure out what to do. Unfortunately, there was a thunderstorm and he was so afraid to be outside. I put his food and water out there and let him sit for an hour.

Then I got a brand new still-in-the-package toothbrush and my daughter’s toddler toothpaste and went outside to brush his teeth.
His breath wasn’t that bad. Then I gave him a bunch of cinnamon Altoids and Voila! good as new.

I still won’t let him lick me.

I guess my dog really does have a “potty mouth.”

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