the Duggars have their own TV show now. And apparently the oldest Duggar kid, Josh, has gotten married. To a girl he never kissed. Okay.

Anyway, watching the new weekly show, I have found out many new things about the Duggars. For instance, the girls don’t dress like Laura Ingalls anymore, which is good, even though the mom still has that iffy hair-do. Also, the kids have quite a sense of humor. Josh and his fiance go out on a date with chaperones, who happen to be Josh’s brother and sister. “It’s kind of like a double date, even though the other couple is my brother and sister. Well, we are from Arkansas.” Hilarious! And since they don’t date, but court- not showing interest in anyone unless they are going to marry- they are pretty obsessed about sex. Watch the show when they talk about it, you’ll see.

They also have a “scandalous” cousin, Amy. She’s actually pretty normal. I think she makes the whole show.

Oops, baby is fussin’. Gotta go.

–>

that Hannah Montana is just a live action Jem? Shouldn’t the Jem people be mad?

–>

It’s taken me a few days to digest the MTV Video Music Awards, despite the fact I didn’t actually watch the entire show. Nonetheless, I have some thoughts:

- Who actually airs these videos? Seriously, MTV doesn’t show them, VH1 doesn’t show them (unless it’s like 7 in the morning and honestly, who’s up at that hour- besides me, my kid and my dog?) How can they vote on videos when no one ever sees them?

- I thought Sarah Silverman was holding back a bit. I felt like she wanted to be a lot funnier, but she was afraid to really offend anyone.

- Alicia Keys kicked ass.

- So did Kid Rock, literally. You can take the man out of the trailer…

- I felt really old watching this because I didn’t know who half the people were.

- What the hell was Jennifer Garner doing there? I mean, she seems really sweet and everything, but she’s like this close to being a soccer mom. She did give it the good old college try when she had to present with the obnoxious Jamie Foxx.

- How high do you think Justin Timberlake was? I bet he was extremely baked. Even so, that boy is the white Michael Jackson (and by white I mean the non-bleaching of the skin white and by Michael Jackson I mean the ’80’s Thriller Michael Jackson, not the freaky pedophile we see before us today).

- Rihanna’s song Shut Up and Drive is really dirty. I like it.

- Last but not least, Britney. I felt a little bad for her, so I think I might have to write an open letter to her.

Dear Brit,
First of all, I was never really a fan, but your music is kinda catchy. That being said, I have to say that even though you don’t have a 6 pack, I didn’t think you looked fat, you looked normal. Normal enough not to wear your frickin’ underwear on stage! You had 2 kids, sister! It’s gonna take a lot to get super sexy again. Give us a break, huh?

Secondly, I wasn’t surprised about the lip-syncing. That’s what you do. We all know that Christina had all the vocal talent on the MMC. I was sort of disappointed that you didn’t try to do it well. Shit, Ashlee Simpson did a better job on SNL, and the god damned wrong song was playing! Jesus, you couldn’t even try?

What I was really disappointed in was the dancing. Untalented singer, yes, but bitch used to be able to move! You looked unsure of yourself and uninterested in the whole performance. You’d think all the time you spend hanging out with strippers and drinking in clubs, you’d be able to wing it even if you didn’t know the whole choreography. I bet you got stoned with JT. Weed just doesn’t agree with some people.

I do have to commend you, dear Brit-Brit, for you dared to go on stage before millions of people and risked (and succeeded in) making a fool of yourself. That does take balls (which we know you don’t literally have because we’ve all seen enough roast beef shots to last an eternity).

I’d like to end this letter with a little advice. I think it’s time to find another career. No one says that you have to be a pop superstar. You’re still young enough to embark on another career. How about furthering your education? The DeVry Institute is really easy to get into. You could get yourself into a respectable administrative assistant career. And all that va-jay-jay flashing would easily get you a raise. Sure, it’s not as glamorous as pop superstar, but it’s a living.

Best Wishes,
J at the Hollow Possum

–>

Many mommy bloggers have written about crushes on characters on children’s shows. Since becoming a stay-at-home-mom, I’ve become quite smitten with certain characters.

The Wiggles:
Captain Feathersword- Man, I wouldn’t mind taking a trip on the Goodship Feathersword, if you know what I mean. I think it’s the whole pirate garb thing. I wonder if dresses up for his wife like that That would be so hot!

Anthony (the blue Wiggle)- So hot. Yes, Anthony, I will eat fruit salad with you- IN BED!

Drake and Josh:
They’re over 18, so don’t be sending Chris Hanson to my house. I think Josh was much cuter when he was chubby. Now that he’s gotten skinny and less hot, Drake has caught my eye. I could teach that boy a think or two.

Other shows I that get me thinking (non-sexually, of course).

The Doodlebops:
I just spend my time trying to figure out who is gay, Rooney or Moe. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. And Bus Driver Bob kind of bothers me because he kind of looks like a child molester. And that chick that talks in rhymes bugs me, too.

Pinky Dinky Doo:
I can’t stop myself from saying yeserooney, positooney. All. The. Time.

The Wonder Pets:
Damn, whoever wrote the songs for this show have managed to create musical crack. “The phone, the phone is ringing…” plays in my head all day long.

Franklin:
Anyone else think Franklin acts like an asshole? And why don’t any of the other animals have real names. They’re just called Beaver (tee-hee) and Bear and whatnot.

Little Bear:
Put some clothes on, you whore.

It’s not a kid’s show but…
For some reason my daughter loves Reba. I actually kind of like it, too. Reba looks like an elf, though.

I know, I’m sad and I need to get a life.

–>

I watch WAY too much TV.

Recently I have been watching baby birthing shows. All that pain and suffering has made me realize that I REALLY want to pop out another puppy. I want another girl, too. I’ll name her Eleanor Grace (I’m sticking with first lady baby names).

I just watched an episode of Scott Baio…45 and Single. Scott Baio is such a man whore and I think it is because all the ladies want to say that did it with Chachi. Come on, you KNOW you want to say I did it with Chachi.

Right now I’m watching the World Series of Pop Culture. I SO want to be on this show. I think I would be awesome on it considering I know the most about nothing.

I tried the Celebrity Fit Club diet this week… it lasted 2 days. I’m destined to be a fatty forever.

I’m so mad that there were like only 5 episodes of The Starter Wife. That show kicked ass.

Have you ever watched the Duggars on the Discovery Health Channel. They have like 16 kids. They live near me (about an hour away). I want to stalk them- they are about to have their 17th kid.

On another note…

The new Harry Potter comes out on Saturday and I’m overly excited about it. To prepare I had to read the previous 6 books. It took me a week. I can’t wait to find out what happens.

Is it me or did this post come out a little on the schizophrenic side?

–>